I am looking out the window at an amazingly beautiful backdrop--blue sky, sun, and trees highlighted by a blanket of fresh white snow. The beauty stops me in my tracks--I am in awe and have decided to take a moment away from the Christmas cleanup, to do lists, and laundry; to take pause.
On this "eve" that will close out another year and decade of my life and usher in a new one, I feel like I should be filled with oodles of insights and inspirations to fuel me forward--like I should be so much wiser and have my plan for the "next thing." Truth: I don't! I am not uninspired or too tired--or so I tell myself:). Rather, I am starting this new chapter in the spirit of leaning into the space of "listening," and slowing down; even if I find it to be uncomfortable. I am deciding not to push my agenda, control what I think should happen and what I should be doing on specific timeline. This is not to be confused with permission to be lazy and fill my brain space with distractions and noise; aka: avoidance. But rather, to begin slowly, and "recover" from 2019. To recover from and take in all of the good moments and experiences, as well as time to process the many struggles and challenges. I am grateful for all of it! I don't want to unpack and get comfortable re living the past, I simply need the time to process and be more mindful about leaving what is no longer serving me--or those around me--behind. Maybe a week...or two...or perhaps the work of a lifetime...
If you know me and my love for lists and getting things done; especially as a new year begins, this slower more pensive approach should prove to be quite a challenge. Hopefully, now that I am in my "second stage" of life, I am getting wiser about listening from within and not gaining all of my insights and ambition from external sources and comparison. Honestly, it seems a little uncertain and messy, but maybe that is okay. New thoughts and methods set the stage for new possibilities, right?
What I know for sure, is that I am grateful for this imperfect life and all of you who give me the support and opportunities to serve and grow. Also, consider this an invitation from me to you. If I can support you on your imperfect journey...mind, body, spirit, or simply to offer prayer, presence, or a listening ear, count me in.